It has been a long time that my mind had been in a fog and my thoughts were dark and grey. I began a search for a new purpose in this life. Each new hobby would begin with high hopes, but soon become dull and uninspiring. It was at an appointment with my psychiatrist that I would begin a new journey. He had helped my son with his narcolepsy and later counseled him on his imminent death. They became friends, so the fact that we spend most of our forty-five minutes talking about Alex is not that unusual. He knew I was writing a book to honor my youngest child and would give me advice and encouragement. As I walked to the door, he told me that I should start a blog to help me to organize my thoughts and feelings. I thanked him for the idea and went on my way. After all, what did I know about blogging. Nothing. I began reading some blogs, joining some organizations to give my opinion on how the medical system is lacking in so many ways for children with chronic illnesses. The more I read, the more angry I became and felt an urgency to have my voice heard.
Those words that my doctor had spoken to me months before rang in my ears, “Start a blog.” Now it was not so far-fetched. It was quite a learning curve, but I finally started to understand the in’s and out’s of blogging here on Word Press. It had been a while since I had put pen to paper. But three months ago I started ‘I Am Not Sick Boy.’ I was bursting with emotions thinking that I truly could make a difference. With my first blog I felt reborn, as if my best friend had been lost and now is here with the same warmth and excitement as before. Especially since this project means more than anything to me.
I write to honor Alex and to help parents to find a different path to care for their chronically ill children. So I write almost everyday with the same enthusiasm and purpose. I thank God for bringing writing back into my life.