Link | Formats | I Am Not Sick Boy

I feel so out of the loop. I suppose when the Disneyland disaster with the children acquiring measles was going on, my mind just didn’t grasp what was happening. Don’t get me wrong. I understood that there has been an ‘anti-vaccine’ mentality in large groups of concerned parents here in the United States. But I never truly thought it through deeply enough to realize that these children were going to school without their mandatory vaccinations. What? How? When my children started school at the age of five, I would have to hand in their proof of immunizations before they were able to go to class. There were no exceptions. Now, it is my understanding that there is a new law that allows parents to opt out of vaccinations through a personal belief exemption.

Things have changed in the last three decades. I know, I know. That’s for another day. Anyway, I have not been blind to the increased number of children who are diagnosed as being at one stage of a long and complicated Autism Spectrum Disorder. All of you know that I fight everyday for all children with chronic diseases and their families, and it is no different for the little ones with autism. For years we have heard hundreds of theories for the cause of Autism, some sound logical and others sound insane. I know that, if it was me, I would fly to the moon and back to never do any harm to my child. Believe me, when a mother is faced with so many decisions about surgeries, procedures, and medications that are known to cause death, that mom is most careful before signing on the dotted line. When I was making those choices for my little boy, there was not any fear of hurting anyone else’s child. It would be my family, friends, his friends and our world that would feel the repercussions from my call.

This morning I read this article and it made so much sense. It would behoove all parents to take a look at this parent’s take on this ‘life and death’ situation before you make your final decision about whether or not to immunize your precious ones. Go to: http://ww2.kqed.org/stateofhealth/2015/06/23/boy-leukemia-patient-weighs-in-as-vote-on-vaccine-bill-nears/

After you have read this article, I found this TED talk by Steve Silberman who speaks about the history of autism. Here: http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_silberman_the_forgotten_history_of_autism

Masks Off
We all wear a mask of some kind on a daily basis. It depends on where we are, what we are doing, or whom we are with, to apply the perfect veil for each setting. But those are just facades. They fall away and are replaced in a moment’s notice.

A costume, on the other hand, is not just a mask. It is meant to change our complete appearance so as to not be recognized by the world outside. In my childhood, and later, I have won many costume contests. My imagination was wild and uncensored. In the fifth grade I was attending my first coed school and was thrilled with all of the festivities around Halloween. There was a party, the girls and boys were dressed up and there was the contest for best costume. I worked daily on mine. There was the shopping, making the pattern, sewing, and putting every last detail on to make it perfect.

The day finally came. We are all lined up outside on the playground as a nun would slowly walk up and down the aisles and examine each child’s outfit. There would be a boy winner and a girl winner. I knew that I would win. No one had anything like mine. I came as a ‘cigarette girl.’ My face was beaming with pride as I stood there with my net stockings, my adorable tiny skirt, and my plunging top that showed what most girls my age wish they had. There was no doubt in my mind that with all of that plus my full -face makeup with false eyelashes and three -inch heels, I would win the prize.

Up until this time in my life, I had always gone to all-girl Catholic school and here I was in the same classroom with boys. This was the most free I had ever felt. And this victory could make me popular with the whole class.

The time came to announce the lucky winners and, just as I had predicted, my name was called as winner for the girls’ costumes. I walked slowly up to the front and stood beside the boy who had won. Nothing could wipe that smile off of my face.

My outfit had portrayed the deepest part of me. I needed to be seen as beautiful, worthy, and wanted.

It was not long before my dream would be crushed. The principal Sister Mary Joseph vetoed the other nuns’ votes. She felt that my costume was inappropriate for a young girl. There would not be a prize for me on that day. I was crushed and shamed for showing the person inside me to the people who lived in my outside.